Now, I don't go to a gym. I've been really been a gym guy, but I have thought about it now and then. But like everyone else who doesn't go to a gym, I have plenty of excuses. The biggest one, and most logical, is my lack of time at this point. With having a full time job, and my lovely wife working two jobs, that leaves me at home with the kids all evening. Sure, I could go after 10 pm, or wake up super early and go before work, but I'm mentally and physically exhausted as it is. I know, I know ... it's just all excuses, and I should just get up and go do it. But ehhhhhh...
So I've had UFC Personal Trainer sitting around for a while. My lovely, better half mentioned one time about being interested in fitness video games after seeing one on a commercial or something, so despite her not liking video games at all, I thought it was a great idea to get it for her. Well, she never used it. Not once. Hell, I don't think the disc has ever been taken out of the case until tonight.
I got all ready for my first of maybe many nights training using the oh-so-wonderful Kinect. I moved the couch back, turned on all the lights, moved the coffee table out of the way and threw on some basketball shorts. Basically, I had a whole pre-training workout before the training. Thanks, Kinect! I love having to rearrange my entire game room just to use you!!!
I struggled to get through all the menus, using Kinect hand and voice gestures, of course. Once I did, and got my profile selected and stats put in, it was time to do the first training test to see where I stood physically, I guess. And that's exactly when the wheels fell off this whole attempt to play this game.
The camera stopped recognizing me, and I would constantly have to re-select my profile. That of course was a chore in itself, and would take me out of the game itself each time. Then I was having trouble staying the view of the camera, as it instructed me to lay down on the ground sideways, for a sit-up drill, but wanted me to wave and hold my cursor hand over the "NEXT" button. This, quite simply, is impossible to do from the ground. Once I finally got past that, and started the sit-up drill, I would constantly be too low for the camera to see, having to go to the profile selection screen each time. I tried moving farther away (which is never an issue with the Kinect), but then it couldn't pick up what I was doing at all.
I was stuck in Kinect Hell, Sensor Limbo.
Forty-five minutes later, I still hadn't completed the full first work-out, due to all the stupid complications. After all that, I had enough. I moved everything back and realized that I literally did do more working setting up and breaking down the room to play this stupid game than I did in the game itself.
I hate the Kinect. I hate it with a passion. Again, I will reiterate the fact that had I not got it for free in a giveaway, I still would not have this horrible failure of technology. I bet you can guess my excitement over all the rumors of the Kinect 2.0 being packed in with the next Xbox...
There is no question in my mind that I can firmly, unequivocally say UFC Personal Trainer will NOT be that game that I play daily for a workout. I would rather sacrifice even more sleep to go to the gym than play this again. But hey, maybe that is the point anyway?