MOVIE REVIEWS
Lucky Number Slevin
Matt Jameson
So here’s the scoop. I’m standing in my local Blockbuster sifting through hordes of crap in search of a decent rental. Until recently I honestly hadn’t seen a film in the theatre for about 6 months. I figured there would be loads of great films I missed that would make great rentals. Turns out I was quite wrong.
I had just about given up when across the many televisions hanging from the ceiling I saw the trailer for Lucky Number Slevin running. I wasn’t paying much attention really, as I continued to search through the rows of movies. But a particular scene caught my attention, in which hired goons come to get the main character. The dialogue seemed rather funny, and thus I decided to take a chance and bring it home. For a fan of films such as Trainspotting and Snatch such as myself, it seemed like easy money that this film would be something I might enjoy.
The story revolves around Slevin (Josh Hartnett) and begins like a typical mistaken identity mob flick. Goons come calling on the unsuspecting Slevin, who happens to be crashing at a friends pad after being mugged and losing his wallet. As Slevin tries to convince the dimwitted goons that he’s not who they are looking for he falls short given that he has recently lost his wallet. What ensues are a crazy chain of events that eventually wind up with Slevin meeting two competing bosses, one who believes that Slevin owes him a large sum of money, and another who also believes that Slevin owes him a lesser but equally significant amount.
"Boss" (Morgan Freeman) insists that Slevin is an unlucky chap named Nick who owes him for a gambling debt. Since Slevin owes Boss’s associate money, and this associate owes Boss money himself; Boss decides that “Nick” actually owes him. He winds up making a deal with Slevin, whereby Slevin must assassinate the son of Boss’s rival “The Rabbi”.
“The Rabbi” (Ben Kingsley) insists that “Nick” also owes him to the tune of $33,000 dollars, but offers no deal and instead gives a three-day window for Slevin to come up with the cash.
Along the time in-between meeting Boss and The Rabbi, Slevin encounters a mysterious neighbor (Lucy Liu) who insists that she knows Nick. The two form a brief connection, as Slevin tells her the details of what’s happening to him throughout the whole mess.
In the midst of all the chaos, the viewer is also made privy that a shady character named “Smith” is working for both Boss and The Rabbi, playing the sides against one another. We also learn that Smith (Bruce Willis) intends to kill Slevin over “unfinished business” once he assassinates The Rabbi’s son. Confused yet? Prepare for much more of the same.
As the film continues there are gaps the size of the grand canyon that remain unsolved, and the film tends to jump back and forth from present to past. Eventually this unusual story begins to make sense, but just as this occurs the viewers is treated to a scene that unravels all of the previous explanation and leaves one to wonder what the hell is actually going on. The film continues to follow this confusing path until eventually it is revealed that Slevin and Smith are working together and have duped the entire lot.
I won’t ruin the ending, but as far as this kind of film goes it was fairly clich. Unfortunately as I found out, the scenes I had watched on the preview shown at Blockbuster were the only scenes with any humor to them. The entire film felt as if it was designed to dupe the audience, but lacked the final payoff we’ve come to expect from such films. I thought the performance of Bruce Willis was lukewarm and uninvolved. It seemed as if he was playing himself, and not having much fun doing so. Josh Harnett was a bit more on point, although I found his character to cold and impersonal to establish a connection with. Lucy Liu did her typical “I’m Asian and hot so I don’t have to try” routine she’s become famous for, and Freeman and Kingsley both gave stoic and predictable performances as well. I found myself more attached to the hired goon characters, which actually are given better dialogue and scenes than the featured actors. It’s pretty sad when someone with as much talent as Morgan Freeman is outshined by a handful of character actors.
To me the movie was a stark disappointment leaving me to wonder if my movie dollars would have been better spent on something more poignant such as The Shaggy Dog with Tim Allen. Of course I’m joking; I hate Tim Allen. But the point needs to be reinforced that this movie was truly awful.
I watched this along with my wife (who fell asleep long before the ending) and friend Caleb. None of us enjoyed the flick, and as the credits rolled we each turned to each other with that signature “can you believe we just wasted two hours of our lives on this crap” expression. To close I would say that unless you are a die-hard (no pun intended) fan of any of these starring actors, skip this movie. Lucky Number Slevin has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever seen Bruce Willis participate in, and yes in case you wonder I have seen Striking Distance. All in all I’d give this a solid D, only avoiding an F due to the fact that there were a handful of semi-humorous lines of dialogue interjected every so often. I sincerely hope this film never inspires a sequel, but then again this is Hollywood we’re talking about. Oh well… so when does Nacho Libre come to video?
