NOYSEY READERS
wriggling your fingers and cursing in frustration. OK, let’s say you’ve got seagull is an unlimited idea of freedom, an image of the Great Gull, and Kirill looked at me: should he turn? I signaled: as slow as possible! Our you know what you’re doing. Now about your control…”
Jarvis McCarthy, confused reader
Well, Mr. Brown, one turn for another. No, I suppose you were not rude. Not rude at all. Taken a bit further, I suppose it was me who was rude. For that I apologize earnestly. Not to gloat, but I have nothing to do but to do what needs to be done. Mail for me rarely sits longer than a few hours. And that’s in the midst of the madness of a day job, two writing jobs, and a slough of contributing deadlines. Just wait, I said I’m not gloating. Point is, is that I give quick turnarounds and I get a bit too itchy with the trigger when the waiting bares down on me. Again, I’m sorry. I am far from glorious and patience has been the lesson of late. I also forget that editors are people too and must be handled just the same. Nevertheless, you are rather cute when you’re mad. And as the second person to blow up on me today from the overbearing stress of duty, calling; I must say that I at least hope that got some steam off of your chest. But as you say, in a perfect strangerly way…ANYWAY…
Yes, I have writing and plenty of it. And I knew exactly what I wanted to submit to you. Keyword here is “knew” and “wanted”. However, upon a quick pause to take a gander at the site to see what kind of content you roll out for the readers, I got something stuck in my eye. My eyes began to water profusely and I wasn’t quite sure if what I was seeing was really there. There was a vibrant flash of some preverse mouth licking a sparkly lollisomething. A pair of boobies tried to convince me to promote a godamned day. Then there was some poor fool, or actually a pack of them, who thought that they could write something intelligible. And after that it all went rather awry. I double checked the website address and made sure that I was sure. And here’s what I conclude…
I am sorry for my crudeness with you and I am grateful for your response. Without it, I may have done something foolish like…maybe…submit some of my writing to your shallowly and selfindulgent site. Such a blow would have surely raised on hell on paper and it would’ve disgraced me to the point of banishment from loved ones. I have already had bad enough luck with whoremongers whoring themselves out to be whored around. One bad incident had to do with a story about vaginal waxing to the left of my story and a sex toy review on the right. You’ve heard of the seven deadly sins, yes? This would definitely register as one of the unforigivables. So without much further due, I thank you for preventing me from doing any more damage than has already been done. Best of luck to you and whatever it is you are trying to do, and again, thank you…
Disguistedly Yours,
Aaron Shaneen
P.S. No response necessary here, end broadcast…
make me a featured poet… you want noyse and im attempting to make it… i know your busy, i know your makin business happen, but the entire demeanor of your site contradicts all of that… stand up, make noyse.. well fuck, lemme stand.. u c ? standing up has no time for waiting… people are fragile and wont stick around for results.. the majority.. i understand your site could be a good thing for me, and you as well… i want to “contribute” to your mag, not many people say that (well at least not with skills(go ahead, prove me wrong))... text me if you want cuz i dont answer numbers i dont know… 916-628-4953 ..check out my page on myspace, and then check my friend devestation.. thats my interviewee for the music section… i know you want input, but i dont feel like u give a shit one way or the other what gets put in… also, when u have a magazine to make some noyse, making an article (personal opinion or not) about hating drugs and the effects on peoples lives… coming from the owner, that would normally have kept me away if i never knew jameson.. drugs are the general influence of opinion.. anyways, hit me on the celly, or throw me a message on myspace.. email i hate.. anyway, just tryin to give input, get bacc
tonE, pissed off reader
You don’t share what…the fact the most…if not all of your articles are filled with filthy language?....is that something that your work is wishing to teach and promote?....sad if so…
You agreeing with my points of view is not on my list of priorities…seeing the next generations languish in such filth as if they were dung beetles telling the rest of the insect world that they have the best of taste…is a sad commentary on what the generations past have produced…..it is also something that you will all have to deal with and get yourself out of….it’s part of growing up or dying young….it’s your choice.
I’ve made my choices…I’ve had to climb out of the bad decisions that I’ve made…I’ve had to make my apologies…I’ve had to make my changes….
Just like the fact that I wrote a guitar manual specifically to help others bypass the 10 years that it took me to discover that material….I’m the type that wishes to help those take short cuts to a better future…
If someone chooses to struggle with being so far outside the box that only they think their cool….fine….it’s their choice…if someone wishes to run themselves into construction equipment to be able to prove they can get drunker than the next guy….whatever…I just know that ya’ll have family…and I’m sure they’d like to have you stick around…in hopes that your act cleans up.
Sideman, angry reader
my buddy has been using the tag “theNoyse” for years now whenever he does graffiti art or posters or flash animations or anything else. he deserves it alot more than you. thenoyse magazine is fuckin crap you sick bastards. fuck you
Rob, angry reader
I have never read such a great column, I just fwd it to my whole office. Keep them coming.
Eric N. Wheeler, reader
Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ….
That which brings the highest happiness!!
Neateye, reader (or stalker)
I read Marcy Stoeker’s article “Let’s talk about sex”. It is witty and intelligent. I specially like the second paragraph where she talks about our daily thoughts about sex by breaking them down into different types of sex.
Kamran, reader
Just wanted to say I really enjoyed the “Sex Sex Sex” artical. It was entertaining to say the least. Would like to see some more writings from her. Thanks.
Adam, reader
Times have changed and true seperation of church and state was set up to protect the church from the government. But in todays society, the seperation of church and state was set up to save the people from the any religious imposition by the government.
Joel Rose, reader
Obviously you guys have NO CLUE as to the REAL meaning of separation of Church and State. Our country was founded upon the principles of the bible. Separation of church and state was setup to protect the CHURCH from the interference from the government, not the other way around.
You shouldn’t speak and petition against something that you’re clueless about.
-Nice Guy, reader
Way to go. I think forcing children to read the bible in school is scary. School is for education of actual facts and to push this sh*t on people is just as wrong, immoral, and just as stupid as the Salem witch trials.
-Miranda, reader
I was recently introduced to your site via a good friend. First, I would like to say that I feel you are doing a great job and you and your staff should be very happy with what you have done, which I am sure you are. I was reading your bio and was very interested in reading the article that you wrote for the Clark college newspaper. Feeling that what you have had to say in your editorials for your own magazine is fresh and everything we should be verbally as a society, I’m interested to see just what the hub bub was all about. So, if you still might have that article around, I would love to get the opprotunity to read it.
-Ray, reader
First I love pissed off pussy.
She activates a feminine world view in me..shes the voice of an emergeing epiphany illuminateing the masculine principle. Many men might find it offensive…I find it a lucid expression of an extreme that will eventually seduce harmony out of the sublime. So neccasary in these times.
-Marcus, reader
Just wondering, since you plan on gaining diverse opinions, do you also plan to have diverse models – that is, plan on hiring males for modeling as well? Upon first look the site appears sexist and simply mainstream so hopefully you’ll head in a more unique and interesting direction as you hinted on Craiglist. Good luck.
-Helen, reader
I just wanted to say that this site is very innovative and definitely what the internet community needs. I’ve been on a few similar sites that allow you to post your opinion articles, reviews, editorials and so on; but none as composed, organized and “professional” as this.
-Kaylee, reader
Please get some new models, cause Brittany is not working for your site. I mean there are plenty of other girls, I am sure you can find. But that chic is not hot. But I love everything else about your site and the articles are pretty sweet.
-Lakisha, reader
I just wanted to respond to Josh Brown’s alcoholism article. I had quite the visceral reaction to it and need to at least get that off my chest. I’m not sure how much of the article was written as intending to mislead readers or provide misinformation about alcoholism as a disease, or just the perspective of someone who just doesn’t believe that it is a disease.
Alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease. It’s genetic and progressive, regardless of whether someone suffering from alcoholism ever takes a drink, they will always be alcoholic.
What Josh is mainly referring to in the article is the alcohol abuser, someone who out of habit, gets drunk all the time. The difference between the abuser and the alcoholic is the ability to stop once they start. For an alcoholic, “one drink is too much and 1000 is never enough”. The abuser can binge drink two or three times a week, which certainly affects their bodies, but an alcoholic might need three shots of vodka just to function when they get up in the morning.
-Travis Taylor, reader
I love the magazine…and yes, I found where you gave me a shout out! Watch out for your LIVER Keep up the good work and make sure you give your body some rest once in a while. When you push it too hard, it may fight back.
-From Josh Brown’s mother in an email
